Original "jokes" by PT Group

• I changed all the tyres on my bike.
  • I have now retyred.
• Graphene is 200 times stronger than steel.
• Neutrino walks into a bar.
  • Goes straight through.
• Night Knight.
• The barman says: I'm sorry, we don't serve faster-than-light particles in here.
  • A tachyon walks into a bar.
• A quark entered a bar.
  • It was Strange.
• What is the next storage device after the CD?
  • EF.
• Where does a specialist in uncertainties go for a drink?
  • To an error bar.
• Why do neutrons get away with crime?
  • They can never be charged.
• Paul Coxon:
  HKDB books a camping holiday for his family. The site owner calls Harry up to remind him to bring his own groceries.
  “Why?” asks Harry
  “Because there’s no mart on site”
• Royalty:
  I was unsure who the king of the classroom is. So, I asked the Yeoman of the school.
  He said "ruler".
  Then, I asked who the queen of the classroom is.
  He said "drama".
  Who is the princess?
  "Ah, that will be in the school canteen, "cake".
  O.K., the prince?
  "We refer to him as princely - you can find him in maths, sum"
  Should we become republicans and abolish the royalty?
  "Ah, now you have trumped me!"

Conversation between coal and graphene

• Coal: you look thin - have you lost weight?
• Graphene: yes, anything I eat simply does not go through. But I have been drinking diluted water.
• Coal: how many pounds have you lost?
• Graphene: millions, countless millions.
• Coal: have you been exercising?
• Graphene: yes, but I feel quite stiff in my plane.
• Coal: but I heard you are good at arm wrestling?
• Graphene: my anisotropy does not help.
• Coal: are you depressed?
• Graphene: is it so easy to see through me?
• Coal: here's something that might cheer you up. Try singing.
• Graphene: but my voice is flat.
• Coal: have you tried acting?
• Graphene: I mostly have a supporting role - ask the microscopists.
• Coal: how about friends?
• Graphene: well, I do fancy Graphite, but he is thick :(